whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
