if i can run in heels then i can drive
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Farmville is her only friend.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
