Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
