One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize