but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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