Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Randomize
