i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
