I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
