Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
