Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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