Too much gin, very little bucket
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
