I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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