Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize