the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
