Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
