I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Randomize
