I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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