don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
