You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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