Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
