well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I believe in your delicious
Randomize