What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
