I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
