Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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