Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
