Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
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He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
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you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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