i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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