she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
