addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
