I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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