Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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