He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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