I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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