i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
