We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
