i just made my gag reflex go away.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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