I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
