Why does Corona taste like a burp?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
