did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
