I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
