I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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