Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
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