I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
