Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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