my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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