He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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