I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
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Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
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Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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