Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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