its not stalking. its research.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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