I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
