i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
