tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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