38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
