'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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