someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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