Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
