HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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