Screwed.edu
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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