i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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