Buhtt sex?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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