There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Randomize
