So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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