It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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