What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
