I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
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