Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
