question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
