Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
